How to Ask for a Letter of Recommendation

Graduate School

By Patrick Smith

A student studies on her laptop while sitting outside at a table.

Who should I ask for a letter of recommendation?

Your letter of recommendation should come from someone who can speak honestly to your best qualities.

The best letter writers:

Have seen your work firsthand, whether in the classroom or a job setting
Know you as a person, so they can give an assessment of your character
Can tell a good story or anecdote that bolsters your qualifications

Whoever writes your letter of recommendation should be someone who knows you and will make the best possible case for you. You do not necessarily need someone who works in the field or program that you’re applying to, though that can certainly help.

More specifically, your recommendation writer can be:

A former teacher or professor
A former or current employer
A mentor who knows your work well
A peer or colleague who you’ve worked with

There may be other options available to you, but keep the above tips in mind when making your choice.

Remember that the people evaluating your recommendation letters aren’t just looking at qualifications, they’re looking for someone who will fit their program’s culture.

When should I ask for a letter of recommendation?

You want to give your writer enough time to craft a compelling letter of recommendation. Avoid waiting until a few weeks before you need to submit your application, if possible. Remember, these are busy people who have their own lives and responsibilities. Be respectful of their time.

Some useful things to keep in mind when asking for a letter of recommendation:

If you’re an undergraduate student, go ahead and ask your letter writer months ahead of your application deadline. Talk with them about the program you’re applying to, so they have a good idea of how to best help you.
If you’re asking a professor, do not wait until the end of a semester. This is their busiest time of the year, and you don’t want their letter to be rushed.
If you’re asking a current employer, don’t just wait until you’ve left your job. Ask them while they’re able to see you work, so they can speak to your best qualities.

What should I include in my request for a letter of recommendation?

When we talk about being respectful of your recommender’s time, this is a key part. Don’t assume they will have all the information necessary off the top of their head to write a letter of recommendation for you.

When you ask for letter of recommendation, make sure to include:

Who you are. If you took a class from them, remind them of the class and when you took it. Remember, they may teach hundreds of students every year, so jogging their memory will help your case.
The program you’re applying to. This will help them know what to write, and how to tailor it to make a good case for you.
Background information. You may want to attach a copy of your CV or resume to give them a better sense of your overall experience. They can speak to the skills that they’ve watched you demonstrate.

Should I ask my recommender to include anything in a letter of recommendation?

Discuss your plans with your letter writer so they can include information that will help you.

You definitely do not want to dictate what they write, but you can give them some guidance to write the best possible letter for you.

Some information that could be helpful to include in your letter:

Punctuality: Graduate school programs will value students who are dependable and won’t waste the time of their peers and instructors.
Teamwork: If your letter writer has seen you thrive in group settings, this is an asset for your application. Graduate programs will often involve working with your peers and instructors.
Initiative: You’ll be expected to be a self-starter in a graduate program. If someone can speak to your abilities, that will be a boost to your chances of acceptance.
Expertise: In academic fields, expertise is always improving. Depending on your recommendation letter writer, they may be able to speak to a moment in which you showed your unique expertise.

What if my recommender says no or doesn’t respond?

First, don’t freak out. This doesn’t necessarily mean they think you aren’t worth recommending. There are many reasons a potential recommender may decline to write a letter for you.

They may not have the time. If they’re too busy to craft a compelling letter for you, it’s honestly for the best for you to look elsewhere.
They don’t know you well enough to write a letter. They can only write what they know, and if they haven’t spent enough time with you, they won’t have enough information to write a compelling letter of recommendation.
There could be something in their life preventing them. Life can be overwhelming, and a potential letter writer may say no because their life is hectic for a moment.

If they’re not responding to your emails, it could be that they’re busy or they simply may not check their email very often. None of these reasons are a reflection on you.

It’s important to be prepared, however. Make sure you have multiple options for your letter of recommendation. Be proactive and make contact with them. The more people you have in your corner, the better.

Is it actually awkward to ask for a letter of recommendation?

It’s only as awkward as we make it in our minds. For the people you’re asking, most will take your request as a sign of trust and respect in them as a mentor. It’s honestly a flattering request to receive. They want to see you succeed, and will go the distance to help you out. Just remember the above advice: don’t put them into a stressful timeline, and be courteous in your request.

It’ll be OK!

FAQs

Let's review some of the most frequently asked questions people have about letters of recommendation.

Yes, with some conditions. What matters more is your relationship to this professor. If they saw you give it your all and put in the work, not receiving an A isn’t the end of the world.

For example, if this was a particularly difficult subject, receiving a B may be seen as an accomplishment by the professor.

This will depend on the program and university you’re applying to, but best practice is to have three letters of recommendation prepared. Some programs will only ask for one, but others may request multiple. Be prepared and take the steps to make contact with your recommenders.

This is risky, but in certain situations, yes. If you find yourself applying to a program on short notice, and need a quick turnaround, reach out ASAP to your recommender and explain the situation and timeline. Make yourself available to provide the needed information and assist them as needed.

To repeat, however, it’s best practice to request these letters far in advance if you’re aware of the deadline.

Yes, but be respectful of their time. Reintroduce yourself, remind them of when you took their class or worked for them, and send over your CV or resume to refresh their memory. Don’t make them do a lot of work to track who you are and why they should recommend you.

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How to Ask for a Letter of Recommendation (Without it Being Awkward)