Darden Crowe

Wow, I cannot believe we are already seven weeks into school! It feels like I just moved into my dorm, was using maps to figure out where my classes were, and was meeting everyone for the first time. Somehow, we are already at midterms! These first seven weeks have been so fulfilling, but they have definitely been a mix of trying to keep up with school while also enjoying all of the new and exciting things that come with being at Ole Miss.

I think one of the biggest things I am still learning is how to balance everything. There is always something going on, which I love, but I would also love to throw in a nap here and there. I love being busy, and having so much going on has given me so many opportunities to meet people, stay involved, and feel more connected. At the same time, everything is starting to add up. I can definitely feel myself losing a little motivation as the semester goes on, but that’s just a part of being in school.

I have also started observing in an elementary classroom. I love getting to be in a real classroom and experience teaching, learning, and student behavior in the real world. It definitely adds another thing to my to-do list, but I am so thankful for the opportunity because it reminds me why I chose education in the first place.

While my motivation slips, I have started going home more than I thought I would, mainly going for the shower and a snack, but there is something comforting about being home for a little bit. I feel like going home is the only time I don’t have to pretend I’m not overwhelmed or tired anymore.

Being from Oxford is such a unique experience because I am still figuring out what it means to be from here while also being a college student here. I have my classes and my Ole Miss life, but I also have my family, work, babysitting, and everything else that comes with already having a life in Oxford. It can feel like I am constantly switching between two worlds, but I am starting to find my own routine within both.

The best part of these first seven weeks has definitely been the people. My friends have been so awesome, and I have loved getting more involved in Greek life. Every day I feel like I know someone a little better, and that has made this whole experience feel more comfortable. I am still learning, still figuring out my routine, and definitely still figuring out college life, but I am loving it.

I will say, though, I am definitely ready for a break. At this point, I would not complain if someone dropped me on a beach with my feet in the sand for a few days. Until then, I guess I will keep trying to stay motivated, keep up with school, and enjoy every bit of being a freshman at Ole Miss.

At the beginning of the semester, I would call my mom every day to tell her how things are going; how much I am enjoying the independence, how fun it is making new friends, how great KD is, and all the social activities that follow. I was loving every second of it and soaking up all the newness of it all; however, while I still love everything Ole Miss, I have soon realized that somewhere between seven weeks without a break, keeping up with classes, and figuring out friendships or just life in general, I am catching on to the reality that even the best seasons of life can be exhausting sometimes.

Lately, I have also noticed a little bit of what everyone calls “freshman fatigue.” My older sisters always told me that freshman year could feel lonely, even when you are surrounded by people all the time. Honestly, I never really believed them. I have always been someone who can talk to just about anyone and put on a smile no matter what, so I figured I would be just fine. However, I am starting to understand what they meant. Making friends is exciting, but figuring out who you genuinely want to surround yourself with and who helps you grow is a different story. I want friendships where we pour into each other equally, encourage one another, and make each other better. I am also learning more about who I am, who I want to become, and the kind of person I want to represent. It’s all a part of growing up, which we all have to do, but it doesn’t really make the reality of it any easier.

School is still going well, but finding the motivation to get up and go to class every day is definitely getting harder. I think we are all ready for a little reset! Thankfully, I still absolutely LOVE observing in my special education classroom. Getting to experience teaching and student behaviors in a real classroom has been one of my favorite parts of this semester. It has even made me question whether I want to switch to general elementary education. There are so many what-ifs and why-nots, but I am reminding myself that I do not have to have everything figured out right now.

Overall, I really am still loving Ole Miss and everything that comes with this season of life, even on the days when it feels like a lot. I think I am just learning that you can be so happy with where you are and still have days when you feel a little overwhelmed or unsure of yourself. I am definitely ready for Thanksgiving break to spend time with my family, slow down a little, and not feel like I constantly have somewhere to be or something to do! And of course, I am already looking forward to Christmas break, too. I know I still have a lot to figure out, but I am reminding myself that I don't have to have it all together right now. I am still learning who I am, what I want, and where I fit best, and I think that is okay. Change isn't always easy, but I know it is part of growing up, and sometimes you just have to get comfortable with being uncomfortable and trust that things will fall into place. For now, I am taking it one day at a time, giving myself a little grace, and enjoying every part of this season.

Hotty Toddy!